The Moving Moment

I move in three days.

I’ll let that sink in a bit before I continue.

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Got it?  Good.

The sheer stress my body has been through as of late can’t even account for what I’m feeling like.  It makes not a sense, but I sit here, listening to a playlist I concocted via memories and associations, not caring one iota about what is going to happen tomorrow.

Part of it is giving up.  Most of it is resignation.  But a bit of it is knowing that things will improve in good time.

…and it is that small morsel of positivity my mind shall hold dear until “This too shall pass.”

I stare at my keyboard, wondering if I should allow my hands to scribe the thoughts pouring forth from my soul.  I let a few important things go, staving off the greedy, unkempt and generally mean thoughts go unheard.  Not unheard, just unimportant to my life as a whole.

Yeah, so I’m moving in three days and I am trying my best to do good by myself and those around me.  I better not let them down, especially myself!

So i want to take this stagnant time I have and fill it with moving moments that stir the very spirit of my being to action.  Moments of smiling and laughter.  A good laugh with my darling sons would indeed soothe my soul.  And heal it too.  Another moment would be reserved for the wife that brings me joy just by walking into the room.  Cheesy, I know, but I can not expand upon the simple truth that she does.  Every time.  Without fail.  It is a moment that could stretch on forever ….

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Squeezing Time

I have exactly 8 minutes to write this morning.
I have a nasty cold and my 18 month old slept in the bed with us last night.
Without his “Baba”.
I am exhausted, sick, tired, fatigued, and any other suitable synonym.
I shall refer to this morning as the “Drag me out of this, please!” event.
I must trudge forward as now is the time I walk my 5 yr old to Kindergarten.
For a “Half-Day”.
3 hours is not enough of a break.
Damn it all – Sometimes I wish (for a day) I was free of these shackles known as parenthood.

I love my sons, don’t get me wrong.
I just need more of a break sometimes – and that is my fault.